Is it because I queefed?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
