oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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