I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
