I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
