so explain again why im purple
no
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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