I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
