Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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