btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I want her autograph on my taint
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
