Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
