Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
