New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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