Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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