she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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