Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
