for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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