After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
