I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
