I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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