But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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