why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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