I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
