i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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