Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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