And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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