i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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