i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
pray to the hookup gods
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
