I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
