Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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