We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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