shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
