I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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