I think my fart just growled at me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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