Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
