i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
