Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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