My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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