I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
