sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
