So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
