I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We're too hungover to prance.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
