my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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