Im at strip club and am horny
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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