Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
