i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
smell my finger.
worst night to have a conscience
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
