:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
