i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
