im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
