im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
