Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
