For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
