I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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