and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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